She was scared to death...she was leaving for war, a war she could never imagine what she was up against. She was leaving her family behind, it was hard to do so, because her brother also was at war but in a different part of this grand war we are in. Now it was her turn to go, her family told her that if she wanted to go she had to go by herself, they couldn't help her. She knew she had to go. So she did all she could to prepare herself.
No idea what lies ahead, no idea what was going to happen. The unknown is the humans worst fear. She lands, in a strange land, a whole new world to her....alone. She goes through a six week boot camp. It's tough but she learns a lot. One night there she looks out the window, the world at war, she hears the cannons, the fire, lights and screams. She was headed out to that in a few weeks.
She is safe for know, just learning how to work, she goes out on practice runs sometimes on the weekends and gets burned a couple of times. But nothing to bad, a few burns here and there she thought I can do it. I came because I knew I needed to come.
The day comes it times to leave the safely of the camp......she's nervous of what lies ahead. She meets the captain and he gives her the run down of how things work in his army. She quickly accepts the challenge without realizing exactly was the challenge, but she accepts the call and hits the field running.
She is given a trainer, a partner to help her learn the rules, the safety and to learn how things work in the field. The first little while she gets hurt, burned really bad, it just get worst. She struggles every step of the way, crawling through crowds searching for those who need help and will accept it.
She sits down and cries.....why will they not accept help? In this war of wars they are in pain but refuse to accept help! Why do this if no one even cares? Why fight this war if no one will even win? Why keep going?
She got hit again this time with a miss fired explosion, shreds her hand. She tells people I am hurt, no one believes her. She keeps trying to tell people she is hurt, no one listens. With time she gets worst, her health declines and is sent home.
She receives a Purple Heart, a honorable release, for being wounded in the field. She begins to recover and starts to fall away. She starts to fall away from the good, she doesn't want to go back out to war, why? Who would? Why go back out when no one wants to be helped and saved?
She receives a call from her captain, what are you doing? We need you back! After a little push from him she packs back up and leaves. It was better for her to be in the field getting hurt than home getting attached by those who where suppose to love her.
She goes through many partners, many who are amazing who they work wonders together, many who help each other in the hard times, she gets hurts countless more times, but she keeps going. Her purpose has changed. She's not here because she is suppose to, she is now here because she has started to see those she is trying to help as family.
She starts to see a change in the people, many start to accept the call for help and her and her partner run in and help uncover them and get them to safety and start to heal as well. They start to become strong enough to help in the search for our wounded brothers.
The war continues, the terror, the pain, and the hurt is terrible to see, to watch as people die, and people refuse help, as people reject the opportunity to be saved from this pain. But she keeps going.
She has been burned so many times she is numb to the fact of this pain. She hurts, but doesn't feel. Why? Why would the world turn so wicked that they would do this. She thinks this very once in a while? Why why would they do this to each other?
Why? She sits down and cries why would the world allow themselves to do things to each other...? Why? She sits down in the rubble of the world eating what little she has left for the day, looking over to her companion, struggling, so hard. They brace one another, cry a moment and keep going.
The only safety she has is the safety of the base, every Sunday they go there and reunite with those whom have been saved and who help in the cause of saving those souls. They all get a good rejuvenation and go back out and keep going, keep working.
She is preparing to go home, reflecting of the pass couple of years of pain, horror, learning, growth and so much more. Thinking back....did I make a difference? Did I do any good or did I just waste my time and everyone else's time? The peace comes to her.....her captain has told her she has done good, but still? She remembers the captain telling her.....the chief colonel is very proud of her.
She packs up her stuff, says goodbye to her comrades and fellow soldiers, she says goodbye to those she has come to love in this foreign land, and she says goodbye to those who she has help save and more importantly those who have helped save her!
It's hard, every soldier knows that, it's is hard to serve in a place you know or don't know. It's hard to serve and fight a war you don't completely understand what you are fighting. A war of words, a war of actions, a war against the human race and the spiritual well being of every man. A war against good and evil.
We as missionaries have the privilege of serving as soldiers in Gods army in 2 chronicles 20:15 it says....."Be not afraid nor dismayed by reason of this great multitude; for the battle is not yours, but God’s." This is not our battle it is the lords battle, we are his soldiers and he will help us win this fight.
I was this soldier, I still am, I have suffered but more I importantly I have see the change in people, that really people can be saved no matter the circumstances they are in, they can still be saved, if they choose to accept the call from those who are there to help. The lord, the chief Colonel is still aware of every move in the war, of every position of every soldier and civilian. He is aware of everything.
This is his fight, we are his soldiers, and even though we may not be on the front line everyday, we still have to fight the evil that has made its way into our safety nets, our homes and our families. We have to keep fighting this war of wars.
I know this war is worth fighting, I know that God lives and is leading us home and helping us along the way. I KNOW THAT HE KNOWS EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU AND ME!!! I know that this fight is worth fighting, I have been right in the middle, I know that it is hard, but it is so important that we keep fighting and pressing forward. I know that the gospel is true and that the Book of Mormon with the bible are very powerful tools we have to fight this fight. I know that we can only fight this fight if we have God on our side. I know I have served to my potential and that the lord is proud of the work I have done, I know I still have work to do and I will do it!
Help fight the fight!!
Just an Ordinary Girl
A warrior in God's army.
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